Thursday, June 28, 2012

I am so excited about the release of my new book, "Brothers - The Two Faces of Evil" coming in June, 2013.  I hope you will take a sneak peek below and enjoy!  I love to write and am excited about this new venture.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

PREGNANCY, IN VITRO AND ADOPTION

After much deliberation, I decided to write a blog about something very personal that happened with my husband and myself.  Having raised my first child pretty much by myself, I married in my mid 40's to a man without children.  My son was 25 when we got married and I thought the "baby making" days were far behind me.  But since my husband did not have children, we decided to try and beat the odds and have a child of our own.

 I went to see several fertilization specialists and was told over and over that my eggs were probably too old and the odds of getting pregnant were slim. So, after a few months of going down that path, we switched gears and decided to go with a donor for the eggs and use my husband's sperm.  We hired an attorney who specialized in the field and she found us the perfect donor. After several attempts at gathering the eggs from our donor, they were transferred to me. 

I was still not able to "hold" the eggs and suffered through several miscarriages.  This entire process was taking a toll on me. So we made yet another decision to get a surrogate that would be able to carry the remaining eggs.  We met with her (her name was Debbie) and found out that she had been a surrogate before. She had two children of her own, was happily married, and loved being pregnant.  She was 34 years old and by all accounts, in perfect health.  She met with out fertility doctor and we began the process of shots, daily medications, etc.  She was a trooper; never complained and always kept us informed of everything she was doing.  During the next couple of months, we were at the point to do a transfer to her.  The first transfer did not work; no pregnancy; so we tried again the following month.  She went in on a Thursday and for some reason, I did not go with her that day.  She showed up at the doctor's office and the transfer was done. I did not hear from her for a couple of days and this was very unlike her.  My calls to her went unanswered. On the following Saturday, we were in the car and received a call from our doctor.  Apparently when Debbie got home the night after the procedure, she had a massive heart attack and died instantly. We did find out that the procedure had nothing to do with the heart attack; she had a blocked valve that the doctor's did not know about and neither did she or her family.  To say the least, we were devastated; not so much for our loss, but she left behind a husband and two small children.  It was a tragic moment for us.

At this point, a good six months have passed and still no luck with a pregnancy and we were seriously reconsidering if this is truly meant to be. We were very discouraged and heartbroken over Debbie's death and impact on and her family. It was about this time that our attorney asked us if we would consider adoption.  We had discussed it in the past and we really wanted that "biological" connection, but with all that had happened, we gave it some thought and decided this might be he way to go.  So out attorney set up a meeting with a young woman who had two girls and was pregnant with another girl.  She was not married and financially could not afford another child. 

After several meetings, she decided that we would be the perfect parents for her unborn child.  She was six months along when we met and we followed along with her for the last few months of her pregnancy, meeting with her on weekends and conversing with her during the week.  She was neglectful in making some of her doctor's appointments but we knew she was healthy and not at all worried.  We provided what we were allowed to do for her and her children and as the time for the baby to come grew closer, we had started having problems reaching her.  She had shut down, or so we thought.  We had always told her if she changed her mind, that was fine, but she needed to let us know. I had talked to our attorney on a Monday and they were trying to reach her as well.  The following morning we received a call that Kelly (that was her name), had gone into labor over the weekend and the baby's umbilical cord had wrapped around her neck and she was born dead.  As you can imagine, we didn't know what to think at this point.  We supported Kelly throughout the following week; attending the baby's funeral and trying to figure out what our next step would be. 

It just seemed as if God was trying to tell us "give it up!", but my husband so desperately wanted a child of his own.  During the following week, we had decided that if we had to go overseas to find our child, then so be it; we would do whatever we had to do.  I was at work on Friday, a week after the baby's funeral, when I received a call from my husband.  Our attorney had called and said a baby had just been born at a local hospital and if we wanted her, she was ours!  Needless to say, we rushed to the attorney's office and the next thing you know, we are sitting in the hospital waiting room, only minutes away from meeting (we hoped!) our daughter.  And just like that, by Sunday morning, we brought home our little girl.  Talk about a whirlwind of events! 

So, the message I send to you, all of you who have tried to get pregnant, tried in-vitro and tried adoption, DON'T GIVE UP! For all that we went through and all of the sadness associated with the people who touched our lives, we know that the little girl we brought home was the child God meant for us to have.  While this story has some very sad moments, it did have a happy ending for us and our family.  My daughter is now ten years old, turning eleven soon and she is smart and beautiful and everything we could want in a daughter.  She is the most precious child and I am grateful to have her. Since our dream had come true, I decided that it was time to pursue another dream of mine.  I wanted to write.  I had never taken the time to do it and was not sure if it would be "good enough", but I moved forward.  I have since released my first book, "Locket of Deceit" on http://www.amazon.com/ and www.barnesandnoble.com  and so far, I am very happy with the results. I am currently working on my new novel, "Brothers - The Two Faces Of Evil" due in June, 2013.  See below for a "sneak peek" at the new book.  You can also visit me at my website, http://www.locketofdeceit.com/. Please, if you have any comments please post them.  I would love to hear your feedback and God bless all of you out there who are going through trying times and just remember to hang in there!